We're Christians but my husband looks at porn.

My husband and I are both Christians, but sometimes he slips and looks at pornographic material. What does the Bible say about this.  He blames it on me and says it is my fault because I don't satisfy his needs enough. We have a one year old daughter. I don't always have time.  I know it is wrong, but what does God say about it so that I can show him.  Thanks

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Summery of Answer: 

I guess you may be writing because you have already seen one Bible Answer on pornography endeavouring to help a man trying to escape from the addiction of pornography. Yours is a somewhat different situation, although if your husband wants some help he will find some links at the end of that answer that give some good and helpful advice. The pure intimacy site also has resources to help you as a spouse.

There are two principles that as a Christian couple you should be able to work through together. Matthew 5:28 in the Message Bible reads:

But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices-they also c orrupt.

This kind of puts into a modern context the words of Jesus:

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (NIV)

The second principle is that found in Ephesians 5:21 and following. Here Paul councils that husband and wife should submit one to the other, or be courteously reverent to each other. This is a conscious act to look out for the needs of each other. It is an unconditional love. In the following verses he then expands how that love works in practice. It might be a good plan to look at the passage together and see what principles there are there that can be used to strengthen your relationship.

Then you need to stop playing games. It is very easy to blame the other partner for the fault lines developing in your relationship. According to your email he blames you becaus e you "don't satisfy his needs enough". You are blaming him for looking at pornographic material while you use your daughter as a shield. I can almost hear the blame game going on in my head. It is the easiest game to play but the hardest to win. That is why Paul's council is to give yourselves unconditionally to each other. Rather than looking for the blame, to look to see how you can make each other happier.

What is it about you that attracted him to you? What did you like about him in the first place? What do you enjoy doing together? How can you make special times for each other? How can you tell him that he is loved and the centre of your affection even though life has changed with the addition of your daughter? How can he demonstrate his care and devotion to you? How can you bring fun back into your relationship.

I can't answer those questions. The two of you are the only ones who can. I do know that it is something that the two of you together can succeed with as you pray together. We will certainly be praying for you both.

Related questions: I've found pornography on my sons computer.  I'm addicted to pornography